what's a mirror for?

Not for you to check your own reflection but rather,
reflect on yourself.

Taking things for granted.
The car that's always available for you,
The room that's always vacant for you,
The love that is showered upon you,
The person that is always there to tolerate and care for you.

Today, I watched MJ.
I was never a big fan cause I think he look distorted,
When I watch his videos,
I'll only look at his legs cause I like how he trembles.

The song Man in the Mirror,
I heard it a million times but when MJ explain it,
It suddenly struck me..
The true meaning of the song.

WE NEED TO MAKE THE CHANGE
BY LOOKING INWARD OF OURSELVES.

Growing up..I was never a fan of Michael Jackson. I like his dance moves for sure but other than that, I'm not too interested on what kid he touched or how much it cost to maintain Neverland Ranch. His death made no much impact for me except that I have to read hundreds of blog posts dedicated to him and see how people make money from this news.

When the movie MJ: This Is It was released I obviously did not go all excited since the premiere was on my birthday I couldn't have watch it anyway although I had the chance to. I finally watch it on saturday with my bf since he say we should get over it. Haha..or else, there'll always be a question mark if we should have watched the final footage of MJ.

As I watch the movie, I was flabbergasted by how his voice sounded different [in a good way] and how polite he is when he ask for things his way. Firm but polite. As I watch him talk about and sing "Man in the Mirror", thoughts entered my mind and I was so frustrated to think that I didn't know what it meant before..

knowledge is NOT power

I know too much
I've seen too many things I shouldn't have
But, I can't stop looking at it
It's bringing so many thoughts into my mind

Could he be lying?
Is this a phase?
Am I too blinded for my own good?
Will history repeat itself?

Then again, I'm being unreasonable
because at that time, he haven't met me
at that time, he wasn't single
and at that time, it's not like I wasn't doing the same thing myself

So I can't blame him
But I can't keep thinking about it
Sucks to be in my head right now
I need to see him pronto

So not in the mood for property hunting on roads I am not familiar with =.=

All I need is You

The night we had a misunderstanding
You give me room to breath
You let me say what I need
Your patience is amazing

I found all I need in you.

Tears start to roll as I tell you my story
You listen with your loving eyes
I never knew the look of love
Until I saw it staring back at me

I truly found all I need in you.

Turning point

27th was the day he officially asked to be that jigsaw piece who completes the puzzle i've been working on. The "I Love You" started his speech and the ring sealed the sweet deal. :)

.:the missing piece:.

The birthday dinner at Italiannies was a wonderful surprise with him showing up and most of the people I love was there. Ser Li and gang couldn't make it but I'm seeing them on Monday for belated birthday lunch/dinner.

Tomorrow is the usual poker night..I'm being such a gambler. Credits to bad influence.

the last daze of my teenage years

Friday was poker night with Ishmael, Azri and their poker buddies along with Veronica and Cynthia. After that, we went for 3 hours of pool and breakfast.!! Someone didn't get his ayam penyet and we only got Mcd's for breakfast. It's 10am and Curve was very deserted so we just walked around leaving Azri and Shaqeel to their beauty sleep at McD's table.

I got home at 1pm and waited for my aunt to get home so we can get our nails done. I dozed off on the sofa while waiting for my aunt to get home.. I got 30 mins and am ready for my manicure + pedicure session. Me got butterflies on my nails =D Now, we'll see how long it'll last on my nails before I peel it off.

When I got home, it's already 4.20pm and I gotta be ready by 4.45pm. My nails were still delicate so dressing up was helluva test-of-patience. We collected my cake on the way to Klang and started setting the place up as soon as we got there.


My brother made me the hairband with the words "Birthday Girl" on it and willingly went shopping with me the day before to get my party stuff. And my sister sang me two songs from her idol, Taylor Swift at the party. My siblings ladies + gentlemen. Loved them to bits although they don't know it.

the trio!
catherine, angie & may

with my grandma

my cake =D

the clan (:

Every relative that could be there was there. Those who couldn't make it had good reason not to be. XD it was the best partie my mum had thrown me and I truly appreciate the lengths my family went thru for this day. My dad is still in China but I know he loves me and he will enjoy this partie to the max thanks to karaoke if he was here. haha..but there will also be more laughter with him around.

Cecilia's going away partie

Cecilia is leaving for University of Queensland OR University of Auckland next year February. Same time as me and hopefully to the same uni as me. Please dump Queensland and come Auckland with me.. This post is just gonna have photos since nothing much happened except we had to wait like 15 mins for a table cause there was 10 of us there. We ate at Fong Lye Tea House..some chinese restaurant.

focus of the day = CECILIA!!

We took forever to order our food..actually just Shean since I already decided what I wanna eat whilst waiting for the table. Since I ordered second and everybody's food kinda arrived, I won't let Xin Rou eat and make her take picture with me. See the reluctance? I kid.

Xin Rou & mE

My food arrived so they are off the hook while I'm busy admiring the complexity of my dish. Haha..I love how space-hogging it is. I ordered stir-fry beef with minced meat sauce rice? Something along those line and the fire goes off by itself. Me thinks it's cool. XD

We saw Miss Winnee, Jocelyn and two more HELP lecturers at the craft shop in Gardens and Shean quickly ran out of the shop to tell the others. I just walked past them and tried to eavesdrop. haha..but I have poor memory so I forgot what they were chatting about. I like Winnee's new hairstyle.

yong jie, cecilia, me, boon chin, shean, sim ee & xin rou

all in =]

Cecilia, have a good time enjoying your holidays from now till February. Have a safe trip and hopefully we can meet in Auckland. Best of luck in all your future endeavours and forget me not ;)

social lyfe?

Got my social life back as soon as my psychology friends finished their mid-terms. Must have been a tough two weeks for them but it wasn't easy for me rotting at home doing nothing. Ok, I'm bragging and I can feel you guys going "stop rubbing it in my face".

So, on tuesday...I picked Melanie up from KPD A and picked up two hitchhikers and dropped them at mainblock on the way. Lunch was nice and cosy at House + Co. We crashed at Eric's place while waiting for dinner time to come... Ser and Ju joined us for dinner and we went Italiannies, 1U. I couldn't resist my filet mignon so I had my fix of juicy 70% cooked beef on top of shitake mushrooms, french beans and potato wedges.

Mel mel & me :)

Today, I had a long shopping list given by my mum and I plan to hop on it on my own as soon as I woke up. As luck would have it, my aunt managed to persuade me to go shopping with her. But, I managed to get 1/3 of the shopping list done today. We reach pyramid at about 2.45pm and she was saying how we need to time ourself and be on our way home by 4.45pm. My bro and I was like...Okie. Tadah!! 5pm and she is in Marks & Spencer fitting room trying on 20 garments in 2 different sizes each. =.= So, we took pictures!

My bro and his lifted one-eyebrow

After I saw that, I decided to try..again. So, my kinda failed lifted one-eyebrow is the last picture below.

one, three, sNap.

success

Thank You my Lord for what you gave me
and I will know how to appreciate it this time around

=)

october

I remember he told me
"October is our month"
At that moment,
I thought it's because our birthdays are on October

10.10.09
so clear that it's more than just our birthdays.
it's our day
of our month.

only you can decipher

*girl walked to the opposite side. boy stare at her. she went down the escalator. she's waiting for him to catch up. he's no where to be seen. she pretended not to care*

boy: the whole scenario in short. Right?
girl: what? me no comprehende.
boy: Well~ like that lo the whole thing. No? But that's just one chapter. Not the book.
girl: Where are you? I have ur keys...
boy: Exactly girl. That's the whole point. Get it?
girl: LoL..show up!
boy: gimme a clue.
girl: Sony Ericsson.
boy: That's a clue?
girl: Take it or walk home =P
boy: Well, I do see you. But really, the whole thing was a metaphor. I can see you btw.
girl: *saw him and smile not wanting to walk to him*
boy: The key represents...
girl: *walked to him halfway*
boy: *meet her halfway*

*the key is his heart. the scenario represents the near departure of the girl*

girl: it's not too late to run, boy..
boy: i dun wanna run..i wan you to run with me.

*she kicked off her heels and took baby steps*

Can You Feel The Love Tonight - Elton John
No Promises - Shayne Ward

tiresome journey

I wait and I wait
and for what?
another chance for you to bring me down?
or another chance for you to prove?

Why bother..
I'm sick of being the one
I'll stop effort here
for now if I can.

Afraid to Love

Growing up the unconventional way
without parents' extreme supervision
has made me a self-motivated person.

Perhaps a selfish person as well
since I look out for no one but myself
simply because no one looked out for me.

Always having been alone
making friends was never a chore to me
getting attention the unwanted way has been my forte.

But behind the loud, playful, LOL exterior
stays a quiet girl who cries to sleep
I'm being a lil dramatic but the reality is not far from this.

The past relationship made me pour out so much love
that I suffocated him and
off he went running.

haha..but now,
I'm holding back everything
because I don't wanna scar another soul emotionally.

However,
I find it hard to not fall for him
as everything is so in place.

But, behind the pretty rainbows and butterflies
the dark clouds are always sneaking up behind.
The time bomb and distance.

Tell me in what way should I allow myself to fall for you.
Into your arms or
into that emotional hellhole?

As of 10.47pm.
4 Oct 2009.